a little awesomeness before the craziness.

starting tomorrow i feel like things are going to go in fast forward. bday celebration in the philippines. fly back home. fly to la. celebrations in la. thanksgiving. fly back to the bay for celebration with mel. the road to 25 is here.

i really should get on buying that plane haha ..

PARENTALS.

ang bigat! haha

being away from home always makes you appreciate it more.

getting to know new people here means that i get to know new parents too and i am reminded about just how awesome our parents are. although we all have our own issues with our parents, in the end they are pretty worthy of the awesome. i always tell people who move away that our parents are going to be the most consistent people to keep in touch with us and hear us out on the daily (dont you notice that all them reality tv show folks talk to their parents all the time!?! I JUST CANT DO THIS!!! LIVING IN THIS AWESOME HOUSE AND GETTING FREE GIFTS IS SO HARD!! ..woe …is… me.. hahha)

so thus, they are my official awesomeness part 1 of this week. thank you mom and dad for skyping with me and learning how to sign into to aim to talk (so proud!). thank you for putting up with the stupid things i do on vchat (look at me toes!) and listening to me talk about commuting, food, and the like. thank you for ignoring me after i signed mom up for facebook and you started looking at pictures while we were still talking on vchat haha. & thank you also for praying with me, supporting me (in every sense of the word), and loving me from an ocean away. this will be our first thanksgiving and bday away from each other (eek!) but my heart is with you and im so happy that you are getting to explore the world together laves you!

(special dopeness notes to jessica’s mom for sending her an awesome care package .. annemer’s mom for talking to her daily .. dunns mom for having great fashion sense that benefits us all .. and ed’s dad for hooking it up at the beach!! parents are awesome … dont lie you think so too :p )

GENTLEMENS

i dont know what it is ..but i must give a shot out to the gentlemen (in my life and in general) here in the Philippines. i thought at first it was a Filipino thing .. hello maam .. goodmorning maam(sir haha) .. smile and nod. but for some reason, God has surrounded & blessed me with wonderful gentlemen brothers (both from here and abroad) who have repeatedly proven that yes! chivalry still exists (unlike i have learned, the chicken melt at kfc – rest in peace.)

i have never experienced so many opened doors .. paid checks .. “ladies first” .. men moving to the dangerous side of the street .. and the ever so famous lance line, “no friend of mine is taking a cab – except if he’s a guy of course” haha

God has been healing me in many different ways out here and this is one of them. through these brothers i am learning how i should be treated, what is out there, and that i guess, guys are cooh. ha

(on a side note: as a pro woman woman .. i must say that it’s not that i cant do these things for myself ..these men recognize this and just want to make life a little easier for us and care for us ..awww thanks guys – you are appreciated!)

“now that you know the best, expect the best!” -jhelo

(this quote is so versatile!)

this has nothing to do with gentlemen .. they're just my favorite

pinayspeaks all day ..

thanks mel YOU’RE amazing (haha)

Phenomenal Woman

Pretty women wonder where my secret lies.
I’m not cute or built to suit a fashion model’s size
But when I start to tell them,
They think I’m telling lies.
I say,
It’s in the reach of my arms
The span of my hips,
The stride of my step,
The curl of my lips.
I’m a woman
Phenomenally.
Phenomenal woman,
That’s me.

I walk into a room
Just as cool as you please,
And to a man,
The fellows stand or
Fall down on their knees.
Then they swarm around me,
A hive of honey bees.
I say,
It’s the fire in my eyes,
And the flash of my teeth,
The swing in my waist,
And the joy in my feet.
I’m a woman
Phenomenally.
Phenomenal woman,
That’s me.

Men themselves have wondered
What they see in me.
They try so much
But they can’t touch
My inner mystery.
When I try to show them
They say they still can’t see.
I say,
It’s in the arch of my back,
The sun of my smile,
The ride of my breasts,
The grace of my style.
I’m a woman

Phenomenally.
Phenomenal woman,
That’s me.

Now you understand
Just why my head’s not bowed.
I don’t shout or jump about
Or have to talk real loud.
When you see me passing
It ought to make you proud.
I say,
It’s in the click of my heels,
The bend of my hair,
the palm of my hand,
The need of my care,
‘Cause I’m a woman
Phenomenally.
Phenomenal woman,
That’s me.

-Maya Angelou

“and can i say ..”

tonight, i agree with you. i wish i could turn it off.

awesomeness of the week

or possibly crush of the week.

ha so i’ve been watching a lot of tv .. reading a lot of blogs ..and being more observant this past month and some folks / things have really caught my eye .. and i decided to share them with you as my awesomeness/crush of the week/day/month or however often i find them hahaha todays awesomeness. chris rock.

oh chris rock. i’ve always thought his loud voice and trademark smile was infectious but his recent release of good hair has really shot up his crush appeal. this documentary is a look at black women’s hair and the industry. he says it started with his daughter and through the many interviews he’s had – he has proven to be an involved father and dedicated researcher guy.

on tyra, he hugged a woman who was crying because she was upset with her hair and he offered to marry her (as to which i too raised my hand ha). in my cynical mind he saw a financial opportunity but in my ethnic studies heart, i know he sees the problems with america’s ambivalence to it’s notions of beauty and hopes to medicate through humor – or at least expose the problem. he may not completely understand, but at least he tried. (btw if the movie sucks i may have to revoke his awesomeness ha)

apart from this documentary – he is brilliant. (straight up bend it like beckham accent and everything) his use of humor to surface community hurts quickly turns into the perfect ethn101 lesson – easily swallowed, poignantly direct, and surprisingly moving.

i vote that his next career move would be to do travel nationally and do a series of lectures that are hilarious .. which ..is well..his comedy act. hahaha nevermind.

nom nom nom nom nom

in elizabeth gilbert’s book eat. pray. love. she takes a break from the world and visits 3 countries. while in italy she abandons her connections to yoga and indulges in everything consumable. as a result, at the end of her stay, she has gained some weight and movingly states that, “there is more of me that exists.”

before moving to the philippines i was thoroughly obsessed with the gym and creating a connection to a healthier bien. all of that, has gone out the window.

$3 all you can eat filipino BREAKFAST buffet

yes thats the crab fat all up in my rice haha

ha if these pictures were right side up id just get hungry again

when i first moved here, i tried. i really did. but the food is just so amazing … might as well.. right!?! haha.. my time here has truly been a blessing, not only to my tummy but to my personal legend (5 points if you get the reference! )

one day while i was commuting, i began smiling incessantly. i was just floored by God’s provisions. i just kept saying in my head, “i am by myself. in the philippines. doing what i love. i am by myself. in the philippines. doing what i love.”

what!?! CRAZY.

i joked to my friends before i left that i was about to be malnourished, referencing my last long term visit here. but when i got here, i saw that God had other plans. He had called me here not only to do volunteer work (He surprised me though with Typhoon Ondoy), but to also experience His blessings and healing through good people, food, and confidence – on a missionaries budget nonetheless (insert immense gratitude to those who have fed me, given me rides, and housed me)

as this year has been about personal reflection and change, i continue to define & reconnect to myself out here. i have finally found peace in a balance between taking care of myself, while still working for the community. i have pushed out fear in the face of a true Love i never knew existed. staying connected to art, laughter, and Light – i feel heavier in every sense of the word.

i am full with life and purpose. possibility and passion. rice and gravy

there is more of me that exists

…and i am falling in love with every new inch.

boiling mud @ taal crater !

p.s. i still haven’t figured out how i feel about Christmas starting in september here (more Christmas for me or is it too early!?!) .. if i bust out my Christmas playlist before thanksgiving…that means i approve

typhoon updates ..

build the foundation

fobb deep

i think im in love

“I AM ENOUGH AND I AM NOT MY HISTORY.

I BELIEVE THAT LOVE IS THE ONLY NUTRIENT

IN THE WORLD THAT CAN BE EXPRESSED, AND

I VOW TO TRY MY BEST TO PRACTICE ITS

EXPRESSION IN EVERYTHING I DO AND

WITH EVERYONE I KNOW. I AM NEVER WITHOUT

RESOURCES. I AM A CHILD OF THE HALF LIGHT.

I AM CONNECTED TO THE WHOLE. I AM A

CREATIVE FORCE, I RECALL THE ORIGINAL

PROGRAM THAT IS MY DESIGN IN WHICH

I LIVE MY LIFE BY. I AM A MAGNET. I KNOW

NOTHING, BUT I HAVE THE ABILITY TO

RECOGNIZE TRUTH- THATS HOW I SEE YOU,

EVEN WITH MY EYES CLOSED.” – melody e

kinembra

newzies

**disclaimer. i am writing this under the influence of jetlag so pardon me if it makes no sense ha

for the past summer i’ve had this on my desktop:

this was the mantra many times over as i mulled over disciplines, redefinition, and the path my life has been taking. i tried with all my might to secure a place in the bay area to be close to home, but as the summer (or whatever san francisco’s version of summer is – fog and rain) happened, God happened.

fast forward (cuz that’s what the summer felt like – was i really ever in sf?) and im here in the Philippines to work for my old church . i’ll be evaluating their educational programs and hopefully help to deliver quality education to low income schools. everything i have been doing back in the states up to now i feel has been preparing me for this and i know that there is STILL much more to learn about education and its adaptation to low income communities, effects on my heart, and status here in the Philippines (that was a long sentence huh?)

there is always a double truth. oh double consciousness. i met someone on the plane who hadn’t been back to the philippines for 16 years and she was asking me about how it was in the philippines – hmm..all sorts of identity complications. when i arrived and we were driving from the airport i felt my heart, consciousness, and love for the Philippines familiarly complicate itself in my head. staring at the streets from the comfort of a car was comfortable and unreal. seeing the jeepneys that i used to ride with ease made my privilege scream from within my matching luggage. & the mall @ cubao. oh the mall, the ultimate shining establishment of contradiction. again & as always, no answers just questions, admiration, and hope.

i am (getting) (almost) (never) ready. continually praying for guidance, provision, and strength to deal with the surprises, challenges, and AMAZING food i am going to challenge my tummy with. hahaha to curiosity!

summer notes.

did i really just spend an hour looking at harry potter merchandise? i love you dumbledore.

fionna you kicked my butt (& shoulders, chest, biceps, triceps, abs, & limit) – twas amazing

i will be present at all my children’s open houses and make them dope lunches

san francisco, i am not done with you.

i may retire in LA just for hot dogs and shoes

spoiled kids suck

karaoke + bay area fam = automatic elationess !

it’s a new season ya’ll. here we go!

i’m on a roll..like butter??

ha. (thanks ate jimi for the simile)

first i saw the picture.

and then i saw the video.

thee most amazing use of post it notes. bar none. (i have no idea what that means but it just sounds so appropriate haha)