i am.

it’s been awhile since i’ve posted.

not that i haven’t been writing or thinking.. so many things have been going on i just didn’t know what to start with.. or honestly, what to share.

coming back to the bay, i knew it would be a tough ride – and its been that plus a couple of those drops that make you feel like you’re swallowing your stomach over and over again .. but i’ve welcomed it.

with vulnerability and healing in mind, i have laid it all out and have watched my heart break and shatter more than i thought i could handle – helplessly but hopeful .. tiredly but mindful.

in this process i have sat with God, crawled to God, cried to God, moved with God and i have watched God create the most beautiful and blessed healing process any woman could ask for. i feel like God has single handedly taken each broken piece of my heart, loved it, mended it and is slowly peacing it back together – my heart beats again.

**

there’s always a list.

blessings.

friends who have listened, loved, and grown with me over and over again (thank you so much for all your prayers, encouragements, and energy). vallejo’s marina. random surprises. fixing my credit. my dad finishing his last day of chemo. the joy of being sore when i work out. a place to sleep every week. movie nights. my niece jesse and her smile. music. dance. opening a savings account. hawaii. the Bible. my mom. my grandma’s 90th birthday. job offers. books. sid the science kid. family. plans. women. hope. love.

*

the anthem.

i am blessed.

i am beautiful.

i am a product of the pain, tears, and survival that runs through my existence.

i am thriving.

i am going to keep crossing things off my “to do” lists.

i am elated.

i am becoming everything i am meant to be.

…and i’m off to hawaii for a much needed and deserved vacation!

(finding) peace (isn’t) easy

`bnOwie ❤

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