day4 into the new year and i’m finally writing the blog i’ve been ruminating over since november.
27. an odd number in function and form. as i (apprehensively/reluctantly/cautiously) move steadily into my new life i reflect on lessons learned and realize that the most pivotal lessons have also been the most challenging, devastating, and liberating all in one sweep of emotion.
1. people leave. i’ve never been a fan of burning bridges…but i guess, sometimes they fall on their own. & its okay. relationships and the lessons i’ve learned from them are like seasons – they’re meant for change and motion. so i’ve let them go with peace, love, and forgiveness. i will be thankful for the experience & i will send them the best intentions i can.
2. people stay. for those that stay .. i will hold on to them, love them, be intentional with them. because these are the people that loved me through my awkward stages (some of which i am still in). these are the people that let me cry, eat, laugh hysterically, and then eat again – this time wrapped in bacon. these are my soul mates … the ones that are meant to love my soul to its full existence.
3. healing shouldn’t be reliant on other people. whew. i am continually learning to let this lesson travel slowly through my pains & hurt. forgiveness should happen within myself. validation has to come from within. healing, forgiveness, and peace shouldn’t depend on whether the person/being/idea/system has said i’m sorry. this way i am able to find solitary peace within my pain away from the noise. this way i am empowering my ability to rise above assumptions and deal w my own feelings. easier said that done tho right?
4. don’t fall in love with potential. oh snap. haha we as people fall in love with potential all the time. in careers, academics, & most commonly relationships. but in relationships, i’ve learned that i’ve got to take people as they are. not what they could be. find the beauty in each person and love the hell out of them. no judgement. no trying to change them. just acceptance. just love. period.
5. fairytales do come true. awwww. i grew up a self proclaimed romantic. i was all about it, but somewhere in between the mixtapes and grown up heartache, i lost her. the her that accepted love, accepted vulnerability, accepted the beauty that comes with butterflies, cheeseballment, & slow dancing. but alas, i’ve found her again. from couples i’ve grown to admire to my own life. dare i say it ‘lest it comes true: fairytales do exist and your heart can be happy (again).
6. no day but today. this is it. rent pounded it into our hearts. a wise dumbledore reminded us: “It does not do to dwell on dreams and forget to live.” & my dad taught us all – might as well. THIS is the year to live. THIS is the year to find adventure. THIS is the year to make things happen. live everyday with intentions of love, spirit, and laughter. drink wine .. choose forgiveness .. take every cliche and give it it’s own story. THIS is the year you become everything you already are but are afraid to love. this is the year I become everything I’ve forgotten to be.
i’ve been watching a lot of “letters to my 16 year old self” videos and i was tempted to write this blog in that form. but i realized these aren’t lessons i could’ve just told my 16 year old, 90 pound, braces for life, thick glasses Princess self. these are lessons i learned from struggle, happiness, experience, pain. these are the lessons that are the results of mistakes & accomplishments. these are the lessons i carry with me as i venture into the new year.
2012. lets handle this.